I decided to dedicate a couple tattoos to my mom. On my upper arm, I have a blue jay flying. I put the earth and sun near the blue jay to show that this flight is beyond earth. It signifies Mom's freedom from the suffering she endured on earth and her freedom from disease. My mom had both of her legs amputated and I really find comfort in knowing that she is no longer disabled; held back because she doesn't have legs. I love what this tattoo means to me so much!
On my forearm, I have a solitary blue jay feather to remind me of that bird that wouldn't go away. Although Mom seems unreachable to me, this reminds me that in a way, she is still here with me, closer than she was before she died.
Today, I opened my front door to walk outside. A blue jay was on my walkway and when I opened the door, it flew away. I kept the mood light and laughed. I said out loud, "Come back, Mom!" then I sat on the step. I looked down and noticed the blue jay had left a feather on the ground! Now I am convinced that Mom is with me, especially today!
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| Feather I found on the ground left by the bird. It looks white but it is actually a very light blue. Must have been from the belly side of the bird. |
Thank you for my gift Mom! I know you know how much it means to me! Thank you, God for the gift of eternal life so that I am able to appreciate moments such as this!!!
Post Script after I published this post:
My niece sent me this picture in a text about 2 hours after I posted this post.
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| Feather that was left near my niece today after a Blue Jay flew up to her and her son. |
This has been such a good day! I cried on the way to school thanking my mom for being so generous with love and gifts today!
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I didn't realize how tough your mom's last years were. I am so sorry to hear that. I love my mom so freaking much and cannot imagine her ever having to suffer and I know when she is gone I am going to ache for her every single day. I'm glad you have a connection to her through birds and nature. That is really a special way to keep her presence alive in your heart and spirit. Kinda made me want to cry reading this....emo day!
ReplyDeleteWoah, it's moments like these that make life and beyond, really beautiful! XX
ReplyDeleteCasey, yup, mom's life was pretty tough. She went into cardiac arrest at 48. They revived her but her health continued to decline since then. She "died" when she was almost 64 but I am convinced that she didn't die after all!
ReplyDeleteCaz, I can't believe how many signs I get but this one was a doozer! Go back and read my blog...I added more. It seems she visited my niece shortly after!
I only recently began to talk to people about their tattoos. I had no idea how personal everyone's tattoos usually are to them, or why once they get one they are so intent on getting more.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes have dreams of my father. He died about 5 years ago. I still see him sometimes when I dream. He talks to me, but most of the time I can't hear him. I don't know why. The one dream I remember distinctly what he said to me, he said "I can't talk. I'm busy."
Steve, thanks for the comment! I have learned that more often than not, the tattoos have very personal meanings as well. And once you get one, it is like eating only one potato chip!
ReplyDeleteI have a lot of dreams about my mom. Some are very happy and others are disturbing. Still others are both all in one. Actually, most of them about her are both. I can imagine your dreams must be frustrating for you, not being able to hear what he is saying. Maybe he wants you to hear him with your heart instead of your ears? I wonder what he was busy doing? Figures, the only time you can hear him, he can't talk. =/