DEAR: Don't Enforce Asinine Rules!!

I received an email from my 8th Grade son's teacher.  In a nutshell, this is what it said.

Dear Mrs. Ditch,
Your son is being an enormous pain in my ass and he refuses to read during DEAR Time.  Please straighten his ass out before I staple a referral to his skull.


Okay, she was a little more tactful than that.  Actually, she was quite polite but given the mood I have been in...hell, I haven't had time to be in a mood...I was annoyed to say the least.

For those of you who have not been introduced to "DEAR Time" yet, it stands for "Drop Everything and Read."  Now, I had DEAR time with my 3 year olds when I was a daycare teacher.  I won't even get into how I feel about 8th graders having mandatory DEAR Time.  That is a whole other topic!

Here is my reply.

Thank you so much for getting in touch with me.  I appreciate that you are trying to keep this from escalating (to a referral) as well.  I have talked to Chandler and explained that I expect him to be respectful above all else and that includes following directions and speaking in turn.  I am sorry that you are having problems with him so soon into the school year and I sincerely hope that he will shape up so that you and he can have a positive relationship for the remainder of the year.

As far as reading is concerned, Chandler does not understand why he can't quietly work on his homework during DEAR time or study for upcoming tests.  I understand what DEAR time is, however, I completely support Chandler's decision to get his homework started during this time.  After all, he IS reading while studying.  


He does play football and does not get home until after 6pm.  Although I recognize that football is an extra-curricular activity, I strongly believe this exercise is not only good for him but necessary as well.  I did tell him that I would take football away if needed but that is going to be a last resort as daily exercise is crucial for him.  


As my husband has explained to you, he and I have a fundamental issue with the concept of homework in general.  Although we recognize its importance in memorizing facts and establishing a sense of responsibility, we believe that our children should put in 100% of their effort during the school day and dedicate the rest of their time to family, play, and rest.  We have not fought the homework issue completely and we have worked hard to find a compromise in our minds.  I think utilizing DEAR time to get a head start on his homework is a good choice on Chandler's part as long as he is doing this quietly and not disturbing others.  


(And here is the point I wanted to hit home...)


I believe that not allowing him to choose what he reads (his homework or history book versus any other book) is just a matter of enforcing a rule just for the sake of enforcing it without attempting to understand where Chandler is coming from or displaying flexibility in the learning process.  


Please know that I understand that this is a school (and possibly a district) wide rule and you may not have anything to do with the outcome of this.  For this reason, Chandler will talk with the principal regarding his (and our) stance on this.  If Chandler does not feel his concerns were heard, then my husband and I will talk with the principal as well in hopes that we can come to some sort of resolution.

Again, thank you for your email and letting me know what is going on.  I hope you and Chandler are able to have a positive and productive school year and that you will consider our concerns regarding DEAR time.  Please feel free to contact me if you wish to discuss this further.


Needless to say, she wasn't overly responsive to my reply other than telling me,


Yes, it is a district-wide rule, I have no say in it.


At any rate, I am not FORCING my son to read a fictional book during DEAR time when he would rather read his History book.

Idiots.